Biblical events have begun taking place on my body. Today, a tiny Moses parted my hair.
“What is up, Tiny Moses?” I said. “I was all ready to gel my hair to meet the ladies!”
Tiny Moses was a bit stunned, not knowing the source of my booming voice. “Wh-what?” he said.
“I said, ‘What is up, Tiny Moses?’”
“Um, uh, sir. Heaven is what is up. The glory of the kingdom of God. Home of the saints and the angels. Land of eternal life for the saved children of the Lord. That, sir, is what is up.”
“Aw, you can call me Kevin.”
Our conversation fell silent. I could see he mistook me for the Almighty, and was wondering why the Lord would choose such a common name (he already knew, like, four Kevin’s). And I was pretty sure the route to Israel did not include my forehead. A cursory search on Google Maps would have shown that much to be true.
“Lord,” he finally said, breaking the silence, “I see something in the distance towards the South. Is it a burning bush that beckons me?”
“No, silly Tiny Moses, I have a penis.” And then I added, in a decidedly softer voice, “It burns because I have urinary tract infection.”
That was the last time I heard from Tiny Moses.
as much as i would like to focus on u post and provide some feedback. I just simply couldn’t denied the fact that your self portrait doesn’t have the stache, is this you before you become sir? Fascinating detail of one’s past.
Inspired by Hugh Jackman in his upcoming autobiographical film, I had a retractable mustache installed.
I hear cranberry juice is good for that. Your blog is awesome. I burst out laughing when I read this one. Please keep writing.
Following your advice, I applied cranberry juice to the infected area. I’m sorry to report you have bad information.