First!
I always felt there is glory in being first: to be in first place, to be first choice, to be First Lady. The glory is so great that for those lucky enough to be first in posting a comment to an internet article, sometimes all you really need to say is “first”. This is why I never quite understood why my one and only spouse gets so irritated when I call her my first wife.
I’m writing this only because of what happened last night. We were at a bar when she had to leave early. Before she left, we embraced and kissed, and I, being the playful devil, patted her bottom. I waved her goodbye, then sat back on my stool.
“Who was that?” the bartender asked.
“My first wife,” I said.
“And you still treat her that well, huh?”
I admit I was a little surprised. I always believed that in choosing to get married, a couple should treat each other fairly well. But this was a new part of town, about 8 miles from my home, and I surmised that perhaps here, the criterion for marriage was mutual hatred. Immediately, I grew interested. I am a huge Travel Channel fan, and my favorite part was whenever the host would mingle with foreign cultures.
“No, see, where I’m from,” I said, proudly, “we get married when we love each other.”
The bartender’s confused look only confirmed my theory.
Finally, even later into the night, he explained that in calling my wife first, I was implying that there are or will be others. He asked me if I planned to marry anyone else. I did not answer him for two reasons: first, his tone offended me, as if I was stupid when it was him who was part of an inferior culture. And second, I do not plan that far. I did not even know how I was going to get home.
I do wonder, though, about the second wife. Is that the one they’re supposed to treat better? Someone from the Travel Channel should look into that.
First!
Nice article, I’ll surely recommend your blog to my first wife as well! Maybe I’ll even make a note in my first blog about it… or not
Bye,
Basty
:))
This hits the spot, and your picture is the best I’ve seen in a long while.
Bastian:
It is a statistical fact that any blog that mentions this one immediately increases its coolness, and also its number of outward links.
Amrita:
*<8^)
derek:
It is true that I have often looked at a magazine and thought my picture would look great on its cover. Unfortunately, those magazines have ceased publication since the early 1800’s.
My great-grandpa calls my great-grandma his first wife. We just thought it was because he likes being obnoxious, but now I realize that it came about as a result of his upbringing in a superior, bemonocled society.
“It is a statistical fact that any blog that mentions this one immediately increases its coolness, and also its number of outward links.”
Well spoken, dear sir, I shall take this advice to heart!
No,that was a lie. I already did that.
B